last night I thought to myself, he has shown himself in a dream in a while, and what do you know, you showed yourself this morning

the realest dream I have ever had.


You approached me.
Looking me straight in the eye, right through me,
which was rare for you,
which means you are serious.
It was hard to breath.

You stood there,
tried to say something,
I could tell you didn't know where to start.
I studied your face, every little detail.
they way your eyebrows moved,
how the blue of your eyes shinned,
though your heavy lids.
Even the dark circles around them seemed right.

Then there were your perfect lips, I broke eye contact,
just so I could remember them,

uncontrollably my hand went out,
my finger tips brushed over them,
there was no thought put into any of this,
it just happened.
Whispering, my mouth opened, the words fell out one by one.

Fuck,
I've
Missed
You
So
Much.



and starred you dead in the eye.
we grabbed each others faces,
I felt the passion we once shared,
the passion I used to live for.

The only reason I seem to have to get out of bed.
My heart pounding, I felt the butterflies colliding with the walls of my stomach.

and that's when the voice in my head softly says.
'this isn't real, it can't be, this is all dream, wake yourself up.'

I pull away,
soak it all in.
blink a few times,
My heads right, it's all a dream,
every detail of your face lays in front of me,
how did my mind paint you so well?
even down to your kiss?
when I myself awake cant even remember how laying in your arms felt?
I sigh, wave my arms around,
as if Im trying to erase something,
shoting sadly,
''Is this a dream? Is this a dream!?"
and he smiled,
pined me down and laughed.
he laughed the laugh that I used to patiently wait for.


Then as Im thinking about this laugh
as I'm pinned to the ground,
he began scratching at my face, overpowering me. laughing.
'fuck this' tumbled out of my mouth,
I kicked him off, I couldnt seem to wake up
so I wondered away




extremely disappointed.
everything has forever changed.